Backed Off? Not completely...

I was talking to my *bff* MK today about backing off some of the wedding obsession I've had lately. I feel like I've done all I can do at this point. There isn't really much left to say about it at this point. Even if I were actually engaged, I couldn't do much right now. Sure, we could book a venue and DJ and stuff, but beyond that, it's terribly far ahead for me to really do much, especially about a dress.

Yet, here I am, still typing away about all this!

I think that's going to be my biggest obstacle...the dress. The rest of it is "easy." I know what kind of wedding I want. I don't know what kind of dress I want anymore. Sure, I've posted pictures about dresses that I really like, but after having tried a few on, I feel lost. I have a few requirements for my dress, but an exact idea just isn't there. Also, my size and my hair make it difficult for me to get excited about it. I'm not happy about the way I look. How can I be happy about the way I'll look in a wedding dress. At least I can narrow down my choices...those few requirements I have should help when the time comes to shop. I even have some requirements about shoes and accessories. What are they, you ask?

Color:
The dress must be either champagne or gold. No ivory, as I've discovered that ivory is still too white for my personal taste.

Neckline:
I really really really don't know about this. I love the portrait necklines. I think they are so classic and pretty, but I also like strapless dresses. I know I don't want a high neckline or a sweetheart neckline.

Sleeves:
I either want long sleeves (in the form of a jacket) or none at all...

Shape:
Originally I thought it had to be an A-line. Now, I think I could do either an A-line or a ballgown, as long as the ballgown isn't too outrageously poofy!

Train:
No train! Or at least a very very short train that can be bustled easily.

Headpiece and veil:
NO VEILS WHATSOEVER!!! Can I make that any clearer? LOL
Headpiece should be a delicate tiara in a gold tone with offwhite pearls and maybe some colored beads.

Shoes:
Gold and inexpensive. I can't see spending a bunch of money on shoes that will hardly be noticed under my dress.
Slippers for reception dancing after all the formalities are finished.

Jewelery:
Depending on my neckline, I may go with a simple necklace to match my tiara.
If I go sleeveless, I'd like to wear an antique bracelet that was my grandmother's. My cousin has the matching one. I might ask if that can be my "something borrowed."

Hair:
I've decided already on a 1940s style. I have a picture of a New Year's Eve where I wore a "pageboy" style. My hair looked awesome that night! Hehehe. I might do that, or maybe one of the other popular styles from the time that sweep the hair back loosely.

I wish I had more artistic talents so I could sketch some dresses that I'd like!

So yeah, my point is that I have not backed off completely, just that sometimes I don't know what to say about it. Also, I'm glad I have a bit better idea about what I want from a dress.

I have more to write, but I'm going to do so in a different post because this one is long enough!

Engagement Dream

I had a dream last night that J proposed. The way he did it was very...uneventful. He just kind of put a box in my face, opened it, and asked me if I'd marry him. It didn't seem to matter though. I asked him if he was serious...finally! Then, I looked at the ring as we put it on my finger. It was...UGLY. I mean, super-ugly. The ugliest ring I'd ever seen. LOL.

It was this huge, thick, wide, heavy gold men's ring with 3 diamonds in a diagonal pattern across the face. I can't describe how awful it was. I just remember it being huge, and it weighed a ton.

I was still ridiculously excited, but I did manage to tell him I'd like us to look for a more petite ring, if possible. He said ok.

The whole thing was just strange.

Dance Lessons Part Deux!

Since I wasn't thrilled with the first price I was quoted and not really crazy about the guy's sales approach, I got info from another place.

This place is very close to my home. The guy I spoke to was really nice and really helpful. 1hour private lesson for J and I would be $55. Now, that is $5 more per lesson than the first place, but....we aren't required to take 5 lessons. So, if we feel like we've got the hang of it after 3 lessons, we're done. If we want to take more, we can.

I liked the instructor when I spoke with him on the phone. He didn't try to hard sell and he was understanding that J is a bit apprehensive about the dancing.

So, I'm going to let J know and see what he thinks. I'll still check out some other places' prices, but so far, I like this particular one.

Chocolate Brown Tuxes!

I found chocolate/brown tuxes! Yes, yes I did! WOOOOOOT!!!

I've been searching online for them for months now, and I finally found one!!!

Check it out!

I think groomsmen will go with the dark tie and vest. J will probably wear either a burnt orange or a champagne. If he goes with champagne, it'd probably look something more like this (even though the pic is ivory, I think, it gives you the idea of how it would look with a lighter color)...

Dance Lessons

J agreed to take lessons for our first dance. So today, I called a place and they want $250 for 5 private lessons. Yikes! That's a lot more than I thought we'd have to spend on it. He also tried to sell us classes. I know J won't want to do that. I don't like the upsell to begin with, but especially before I've even agreed to buy in the first place!

I'm definitely going to call around.

BM Dress Wraps and Color Update

So, I was thinking of having the bridal party wear this dress with a sash.

MK tried the dress on for me. The dress came to just below her knees. I'd like the dresses to hit just above or at the center of the knee.

When we were at David's, the consultant suggested adding a wrap to one of the dresses I tried. While I didn't want the wrap, I think it'd actually look really nice with the bridesmaid dresses. Also, it'd give the girls a little bit of coverage for their arms.
Since I've finally settled on Brown, Gold and Orange, I think the gold on the sash will be a nice touch.

Speaking of colors, I think most of the decor will be orange and gold. The orange will just come in small splashes here and there - boutonnieres, the boquets (I'm thinking mums, might try to make 'em myself), mesh bags for the candy, some of the gourds/pumpkins in the centerpieces, ribbons on the centerpieces, some of the detail on the cake, some of the leaf placecards. I think that will still be enough orange to add color to the event without overwhelming everyone with such a strong color.

Ups and Downs

I haven't posted since the Big Dress/Tent report. I'm taking serious steps to remedy the bulging bride problem.

I write today about something else entirely, though still wedding related.

Why is it that people find it so difficult to let you enjoy your happiness for a little while? Why must they always redirect the focus to them? I'm not suggesting that I don't want to be there for people or be involved in their lives and know what's going on with them, because I do! I truly truly do! But I would also like it if they could understand that this is big for me, and quite frankly, I don't want to share it. I don't know if any of that makes sense. What it comes down to is this: This is my time - my moment - let me have it for just a little while, please.

On a more positive note, I think J is so wonderful! He doesn't say much about wedding plans. I bring stuff up to him, he responds, and that's it. He doesn't really have a lot of his own ideas about it (unless it comes to food). So, the slightest mention from him without prompting makes me happy.

We watched American Wedding with some friends this weekend. I love that movie. It's hysterical, and at the same time, satisfies some of my girly "chick flick" tendencies. It's a good movie that works for both genders.

Anyway, at one point in the film, there is some sort of disaster - well, there are a lot of disasters - but I think this was when all the flowers died because one of the characters is an ass. So, J looks at me and says, "Well babe, no matter how bad it gets, it won't be that bad!" LOL. I just thought it was cute and had to share it.

It means he has been thinking about it, and that when he saw a wedding, it wasn't just a wedding - he could make the connection between that and OUR wedding. It's becoming very real for me now.

BIG Dresses!!!

I tried on a few dresses this weekend! Yikes! I've gotten BIG!!! Much bigger than I thought I was. When I saw the dress size I was in and how I looked in the dresses, I wanted to cry. It was not a fun experience at all. I know most wedding gowns run small, but that doesn't change the way I actually look. Whether they called the size a 6 or a 26, I looked big.

It's time I stop whining about my weight and do something about it. I've had a lot of failed attempts in the past, and it's usually because I give up. I don't want to be big on my wedding day. I want to be a beautiful bride. Then, I want to remain beautiful for J. He loves me the way I am. It's funny, but he honestly doesn't see me as big or fat. He just sees me and loves me. I love that about him, but wouldn't it be great if he could have a really hot wife!? :)

I started another blog to help me with my weight loss goals. Check it out. http://bulgingbride.blogspot.com/

The Dress?

I found a dress that I absolutely adore. The pictures are copyrighted, so I can't post them here. You can follow this link to see it. It's a champagne color with a bronze and gold organza sash across the front that billows out in the skirt.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid to order online, and that seems to be the only way to get it. The other bonus is that it's only around $450...right in my budget. I'm afraid of ordering the gown to find it's crap material and shoddy workmanship. Once received, I have only three days to decide whether or not to return it or keep it. I don't know if that's enough time for me. I worry that if I wait too long, it may not be available if/when I decide I want it.

OMG OMG OMG...forget that dress...ok, don't forget it, but LOOK AT THIS!!!
This is a Maggie Sottero dress (style: Suzanne) and it is perfect. I love love love this dress. I actually cried when I discovered it is nowhere near my budget. The lowest price I've encounterd is $1,458.oo. I need to find a way to get this gown...

Gorgeous Ring!

Wow! I absolutely love this ring! It's gorgeous!!!

You know what else it is?

E X P E N S I V E.

This ring carries a price tag that says $15,000.00.

Yep, that's more than our entire wedding budget.

Ahh, if only money grew on trees!