Planning Excitement - It's All Real Now!

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

We have our first wedding appointment scheduled! We're visiting a possible venue on the evening of April 43rd. I was surprised to hear that they were nearly booked for 10/09 already. Fortunately, none of the Sundays are taken yet. Whew! The gentleman I spoke to said that regardless of where we book, we should do so soon, as dates are already filling up. I had no idea so many people were planning as far ahead as we are.

I'm a little bummed today. I had to take my ring back to have it sized. They said it's going to take a week to get it back! :( I was really looking forward to wearing it all the time once I got it. It'll be more comfortable and fit better though, so I suppose it's worth the wait!

Now that this is really and truly official, there are a few things I want to do within the next three to four months.

1) Book our venue.
Unfortunately, we probably won't be able to afford a deposit until late next month. *bites fingernails* I hope our date will still be available.

2) Dress shopping.
There is a problem with this, though...my weight! I am more motivated now than ever before to drop all this extra baggage. No, I don't want to be a size 6 bride, but I do want to be thinner. I'm still keeping up with my weight loss journal pretty regularly. I've lost 11lbs and have 39 more to go. I think once I've lost a total of 25 lbs (so 14 more to go), I'll start seriously looking for dresses. I think that'll be a substantial enough loss that I won't feel so bad when I put on a dress. Maybe it won't feel so much like a tent then!

3) Decide on stationery.
I've had a real problem finding stationery I like. From Save the Dates to Invitations, I just can't seem to find anything that really catches my eye. I've thought about going DIY with stationery, but I think that's a bit too complicated for me. I'm not great with printing/formatting stuff.

4) Talk to our potential officiant.
We'd like a mutual friend/acquaintance to perform our ceremony, but we aren't sure if he'll be comfortable with straying from tradition. I'm writing our ceremony (with input from J, of course), and it's important to me that we make it our own. So, I want to know if he'll be comfortable with it, or if we need to figure out another plan of action.

I know these aren't necessarily the 'proper' order of doing things, but since when is anything J and I do 'proper?' There are a lot of things I need to wait to do, either because it's too early or I simply need this autumn to roll around for reasonably priced supplies to become available. I'm very anxious to try my DIY boquets, but I've heard the flowers I want to use (mums) are more affordable in autumn.

I've put together a binder for wedding planning. I was going to buy one of the wedding planners I saw at Border's, but $30 and up seemed awfully expensive for something I could put together myself. I think what I might add to it is my own timeline/checklist. I've found a lot online, but I want to customize them.

Backed Off? Not completely...

I was talking to my *bff* MK today about backing off some of the wedding obsession I've had lately. I feel like I've done all I can do at this point. There isn't really much left to say about it at this point. Even if I were actually engaged, I couldn't do much right now. Sure, we could book a venue and DJ and stuff, but beyond that, it's terribly far ahead for me to really do much, especially about a dress.

Yet, here I am, still typing away about all this!

I think that's going to be my biggest obstacle...the dress. The rest of it is "easy." I know what kind of wedding I want. I don't know what kind of dress I want anymore. Sure, I've posted pictures about dresses that I really like, but after having tried a few on, I feel lost. I have a few requirements for my dress, but an exact idea just isn't there. Also, my size and my hair make it difficult for me to get excited about it. I'm not happy about the way I look. How can I be happy about the way I'll look in a wedding dress. At least I can narrow down my choices...those few requirements I have should help when the time comes to shop. I even have some requirements about shoes and accessories. What are they, you ask?

Color:
The dress must be either champagne or gold. No ivory, as I've discovered that ivory is still too white for my personal taste.

Neckline:
I really really really don't know about this. I love the portrait necklines. I think they are so classic and pretty, but I also like strapless dresses. I know I don't want a high neckline or a sweetheart neckline.

Sleeves:
I either want long sleeves (in the form of a jacket) or none at all...

Shape:
Originally I thought it had to be an A-line. Now, I think I could do either an A-line or a ballgown, as long as the ballgown isn't too outrageously poofy!

Train:
No train! Or at least a very very short train that can be bustled easily.

Headpiece and veil:
NO VEILS WHATSOEVER!!! Can I make that any clearer? LOL
Headpiece should be a delicate tiara in a gold tone with offwhite pearls and maybe some colored beads.

Shoes:
Gold and inexpensive. I can't see spending a bunch of money on shoes that will hardly be noticed under my dress.
Slippers for reception dancing after all the formalities are finished.

Jewelery:
Depending on my neckline, I may go with a simple necklace to match my tiara.
If I go sleeveless, I'd like to wear an antique bracelet that was my grandmother's. My cousin has the matching one. I might ask if that can be my "something borrowed."

Hair:
I've decided already on a 1940s style. I have a picture of a New Year's Eve where I wore a "pageboy" style. My hair looked awesome that night! Hehehe. I might do that, or maybe one of the other popular styles from the time that sweep the hair back loosely.

I wish I had more artistic talents so I could sketch some dresses that I'd like!

So yeah, my point is that I have not backed off completely, just that sometimes I don't know what to say about it. Also, I'm glad I have a bit better idea about what I want from a dress.

I have more to write, but I'm going to do so in a different post because this one is long enough!

Ups and Downs

I haven't posted since the Big Dress/Tent report. I'm taking serious steps to remedy the bulging bride problem.

I write today about something else entirely, though still wedding related.

Why is it that people find it so difficult to let you enjoy your happiness for a little while? Why must they always redirect the focus to them? I'm not suggesting that I don't want to be there for people or be involved in their lives and know what's going on with them, because I do! I truly truly do! But I would also like it if they could understand that this is big for me, and quite frankly, I don't want to share it. I don't know if any of that makes sense. What it comes down to is this: This is my time - my moment - let me have it for just a little while, please.

On a more positive note, I think J is so wonderful! He doesn't say much about wedding plans. I bring stuff up to him, he responds, and that's it. He doesn't really have a lot of his own ideas about it (unless it comes to food). So, the slightest mention from him without prompting makes me happy.

We watched American Wedding with some friends this weekend. I love that movie. It's hysterical, and at the same time, satisfies some of my girly "chick flick" tendencies. It's a good movie that works for both genders.

Anyway, at one point in the film, there is some sort of disaster - well, there are a lot of disasters - but I think this was when all the flowers died because one of the characters is an ass. So, J looks at me and says, "Well babe, no matter how bad it gets, it won't be that bad!" LOL. I just thought it was cute and had to share it.

It means he has been thinking about it, and that when he saw a wedding, it wasn't just a wedding - he could make the connection between that and OUR wedding. It's becoming very real for me now.

BULLSH*T!!!

I call bullsh*t on all this wedding etiquette crap!

A book one of my attendants, Sarah, loaned me says maybe, "you've found a great wedding dress that happens to be backless - and your mother is shocked."

What!?!? Are you kidding me? Are there really still people out there who hold onto these ridiculous virgin ideas?

This same exact book considers cohabitation a "special circumstance" (I kid you not...it's in the chapter called Special Circumstances). Apparently, if you've been cohabitating, "some discretion is in order." Apparently I should "opt for a somewhat quiet wedding without all the fanfare," because since we lived together, my wedding must not be as special as someone else's. WTF!

The author also covers information for different religious ceremonies, but completely ignores secular ceremonies and some of the options available to the couple.

This book is called Your Complete Wedding Planner: The Essential Guide to Planning Every Phase of Your Wedding and the Events That Surround It by Marjabelle Young Stewart (updated and revised edition).

Now there is some helpful information in the book about things like the receiving line, attire, accessories and planning, but I think this author should keep her old-fashioned, out-dated, and closed-minded opinions to herself!!!

I call BULLSH*T!!!

Sarah did loan me another book, the Check List for a Perfect Wedding, 6th ed., by Barbara Lee Follett and Loulie Hyde Sutro. This book is much less offensive to me. It's just brass tacks - no opinions that I didn't ask for!